Sweetness

Emptiness is my savior
Tears are my laughter
Lies are my truth

Breathing becomes a little harder and I’m chocking inside, wondering how these shades of white turned to gray and then faded away. Wondering what i lost myself to and how I faded away..

Sweet nothingness that amounts to nothing, you’ve crushed my dreams and turned them to dust, lost in a summer breeze…

Sweet love that breaks me, sweet heart that creeps under my skin… a sweetness that becomes a part of me, until I cannot remember how I survived without it, until I cannot imagine a time it wouldn’t be there.

Sweet goodbyes. Kiss me, breathe life into me one last time? Sweet goodbyes, tearing my skin. Sweet goodbye, won’t you stop haunting my dreams? And I never thought, sweetness would be so bitter.

Run..

The lights flashed around her, as she ran. Brilliant white, blue, beautiful colored lights, fading into her as she ran. She didn’t know nor did she care where the lights took her or how badly they blinded her all she wanted to do was run. Away from him, away from them, away from herself.

A few miles, a few hours, a few minutes, a few seconds. Her feet stumbled, upon a gray patch of grass, her body sunk deep into it. Breathing hard, shallow breaths. She looks up at the dark sky, a reflection of disaster in her pale eyes, on her white skin, beneath her cold heart.

A memory imprinted beneath the layers of her skin, sinking deep within her

Imperfect perfection

I was drawing something, and I drew it too neatly, which made it look horrible! Nature is messy. Imperfect. Which actually makes it perfect and beautiful.

So,
Maybe we're not meant to be perfect..

Mmm, just wanted to share the random crazy-ness.
x

Meehhh..

Sometimes I think the world has gone insane, those are the times when I realize that the things people kept warning you about actually did happen, well okay, maybe the world isn’t insane, maybe your just an idiot for not seeing it coming, right? But honestly, how could I have foreseen this apparent madness? Don’t answer that. I walk around with my eyes looking up at the sky, dreaming, mostly I am unaware of anything that might be happening/developing around me. I should learn to pay more attention really.

It’s just… boy do I whine a lot, so bear with me here. I think I’ve lost a part of myself, that cared you know? I use to have more patience with people, give them chances because I know I wouldn’t want them to give up on me either, but now, I just really cannot be bothered by all this mundane bullshit, and the excuses! I just don’t care anymore. Seriously, whatever. Love me, hate me, despise me, like me… fuck you, whatever. I mean, these humans, with like all their disgusting emotions, and all their betrayal. And the way they play with your emotions, I’m not a bloody puppet! Making me come and go as you please. Arrrgh, Im so ANGRY, I feel like punching someone! I need to run, but its like 3am... So, no.

I know I’ll feel better in a few days, and I’ll be reading this over and thinking, what am I even SAYING?

One more thing! I’m not praying :S I’ve fallen back into bad habits!! Yl3an abu eblees! 7ata 7a6ait my phones background picture el kab3a, bas 3ashan I remember… it helps a little you know. Eywa, today one of my Jordanian friends saw it and started laughing, laughing at the kab3a! I was going to slap him, fucking idiot.

Empty pages, empty of life.
Empty eyes, empty of dreams.
Beauty lies beneath shadows, under layers of hate.
And before you know it your life turns into a disgusting shade of grey.

Do we all search for a vision of love, beneath pink skies? Or are we all lost and engulfed in black? Are we going to find anyone to call our own? Or our will we have to face this darkness alone, forever?
Then the liars come, with their lies, and their false hope.

Somewhere beyond the rainbow, across a ray of sushine,
I know a girl with golden hair, and violet eyes, I know her.
I know a shadow that lingers within her, it over takes her, I know her...
We are one. She knows better, she accepts the cold truth.