Sometimes I think the world has gone insane, those are the times when I realize that the things people kept warning you about actually did happen, well okay, maybe the world isn’t insane, maybe your just an idiot for not seeing it coming, right? But honestly, how could I have foreseen this apparent madness? Don’t answer that. I walk around with my eyes looking up at the sky, dreaming, mostly I am unaware of anything that might be happening/developing around me. I should learn to pay more attention really.
It’s just… boy do I whine a lot, so bear with me here. I think I’ve lost a part of myself, that cared you know? I use to have more patience with people, give them chances because I know I wouldn’t want them to give up on me either, but now, I just really cannot be bothered by all this mundane bullshit, and the excuses! I just don’t care anymore. Seriously, whatever. Love me, hate me, despise me, like me… fuck you, whatever. I mean, these humans, with like all their disgusting emotions, and all their betrayal. And the way they play with your emotions, I’m not a bloody puppet! Making me come and go as you please. Arrrgh, Im so ANGRY, I feel like punching someone! I need to run, but its like 3am... So, no.
I know I’ll feel better in a few days, and I’ll be reading this over and thinking, what am I even SAYING?
One more thing! I’m not praying :S I’ve fallen back into bad habits!! Yl3an abu eblees! 7ata 7a6ait my phones background picture el kab3a, bas 3ashan I remember… it helps a little you know. Eywa, today one of my Jordanian friends saw it and started laughing, laughing at the kab3a! I was going to slap him, fucking idiot.
We need to talk !
ReplyDeleteNop.
ReplyDeleteokay :)
ReplyDelete*hugs you and gives you a piece of choco*
ReplyDelete:D
i'm trying to start keeping up with my salat better too. it's hard dude :/
but i'm gonna keep trying.
with regards to your new mood.. i don't think its a completely bad thing.. i had a phase like that.. and it took a lot to get out of it... but i eventually decided to get out of it while keeping elements of it to help me cut through the Bullshit.. and to stop caring unless it was my fault.. if someone around me wanted to be moody, that's their problem..
ReplyDeletecontinue judging yourself, but not in the light of others' opinions.. the fact that you care enough to write about me means you are a good enough person.. so i say fuck the world... no one out there is going to look after you like you..
with regards to prayer.. well there are loads of approaches.. my fav approach.. choose two of the 5 that you will NOT miss no matter what.. after a short period you will notice how easy it is and you'll start adding to it.. Fajr is the easiest to start with.. and please note, i'm not talking about praying it on time.. as close to time as possible.. on time would be better of course..
sorry for the long comment.. you post just hit very close to home.. it feels like something i wrote or would have written a few years ago
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