Friday, August 26, 2011

M&M Duels

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Biology in a nutshell, can I also just add: I love this guy, he's made my day.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Hello Foreigner,

At times the world fits, and all is rationale. Then a hurricane of irrational dickheaded-ness leaves you amidst the colossal waste that is the human mind, think a little deeper and poof all meaning or rationale is lost.


Recently I have been accused of being a bit too “foreign”, I am not sure if I was foreign to the beliefs and ideologies of a whole nation or just the persons own beliefs and ideologies. Perhaps it was both, I tend to be wrong in more than way… or in this case “foreign”. I didn’t know nations had beliefs and ideologies, sand and forests don’t care about culture, so why do we tie our minds to a patch of earth we happen to be born on. I believe we are approaching an era where believe it or not, our thoughts are attached to our central nervous system- Oh god forbid.


Clinging to certain ideologies is understandable in an old world confined to its four walls, in this day an age however the walls are expanding and merging within one another. This is not the time to cling and defend old beliefs, rather its time to explore and improve on the existing, it is a time to start thinking beyond the confinement of our four walled boxes.


Do not attack the “foreign” I would rather have you question it.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

At a time when the world needs someone to save it, hollywood obliges, dont know what Im talking about I suggest we review the movie releases of the past year:












The list is endless with more movies scheduled to be released, in 2011, 2012 and 2013 such as:
The psychology of this is interesting, go hollywood with your study of the masses and such. Feeding off human misery to create false hope in the form of flying/mutated/extraordinary men that will roll in the money. My favourite one is captain america "America, where heroes are made." guess the rest of the world is up for grabs then. Sorry Benazir Butto, Ghandi, Salah Al Deen heroes are only made in America.

Or perhaps this will inspire the few of us who still have anything left to be "inspired".

Monday, July 4, 2011

Like you fuck everything else up. Boo you.

By Andrew Salgado

Friday, June 17, 2011

These city lights, theyre not only blinding but a hazard. You can help but have your gaze lifted towards their flashing splendour, and trip over your thoughts and dreams. They demand attention, so your head is in the clouds. These city lights, they teach you to look up, to find the lights and the stars in the heavens.


America, land of the brave, free.. and hopeless.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I keep things, its what I do. Like broken pieces of myself, a bit of disaster dust, I keep some of that too. A little note saying “Hello” I’d keep that. That piece of candy you gave me.. a word you gave me, promises I make.. I keep all those things. Trash just piling up, most of those things will be lost in some emotional hurricane, or a real hurricane that will show us god.

Sometimes, I even keep pieces of other people, I love them too much to let them go. Again, trash.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Something or nothing- Part 3

Flashback:
The skies were ablaze, red hot, white in anger and blinding. The road was paved with the sweet colour of disappointment, bones of the past on either side, marking the borders, and borders were never to be crossed.
Her eyes saw the raging sea beneath, and her body reacted with longing. To be hiding under the waves, chocked by salt and drowning. She stood still, her brown dress flowing cautiously with the wind, her feet touching the dry bones lining the borderlines.
Before she even knew it, she was running towards the edge, crossing the borderline with no second thought, and flying into the welcoming sea beneath. There was a moment, she was suspended within the skies, it seemed. The rage within them calmed the rage within her.
Cold overtook, and her breath gave away. Darkness overthrew and her spirit gave way.
Sweat, on her forehead, under her arms, everywhere. Her eyes flew open, wide-awake, and alert. The moonlight poured in from the small opening that could hardly be called a window, it painted the white padded room with different shades of gray. The wind outside was fierce, scowling and threatening.
Her dreams were scattered, all bits and pieces of some far memory or some face that meant something. This was no different; she had flung herself over a cliff once or twice…
She sat still, staring at the white ceiling, counting the cracks until she sleep took her again.


Blue couch, white washed walls, colours that are meant to calm. All scientifically proven of course, it’ll take more than just colours to clam the insane. Doctor Cashtener sat in a chair across from her. He smiled, she only gave him a blank expressionless face to greet.
“So, tell me about these dreams Violet?” concern.
“I don’t want to talk about them.” hate.
“Do they scare you?” surprise.
“No.” Uncertainty
“What is it then?” more concern
Violet just smiled back, mockingly.
“I know you’ve been having nightmares since you arrived. The nurses hear you every night, screaming for-“
“MICHEAL.” More screaming.
“Yes, Michael.” He could see the emotions, vigorous, directing the muscles on her face, shame and despair.
“Micheal..” she lowered her eyes. Shame.
“Who is Micheal?” he asked her softly
“Sand.”
The word drifted in the darkness of her silence.
“Sand. Soft white sand, I want to bury myself in it. I want to hide underneath the ocean…” but she could only hide in the corners of her dopamine enhanced mind.
He sighed
“night, night.. here comes night. I hate the night, the nights were always the worse. Always.” She whimpered.
It was day. But there was no use trying to tell her that, she was gone… for now.
“Violet, where are you?”
“Wheres anyone… In the middle of the ocean, on a little sinking ship, in the ocean, in the ocean.”
“Violet-”
“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”
Rage.
“DON’T YOU DARE EVER THINK I WONT FIND OUT, DON’T EVER THINK YOU CAN TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME! I WILL FIND YOU! YOU ARROGANT SON OF A-”
“Take who?”
She made a wild gesture at him, restraints caught her midway through the movement and the laws of physics caught up with her and pushed her backwards. They came in and took her away. Her voice killed the hallow silence and bounced off the green walls of the facility.
“DON’T TAKE ME THERE, NOT THE HOUSE ON THE HILL…”
“Not that house on a haunted hill” hysterical laughter


Jasper shuffled his feet, right and left, anxiety was taking over. Pale white blue like light drowned his office, it spilled over the books, and painted the walls. Everything looked dull and dead under the dying evening sun, even the countryside looked white washed outside of his window.
His eyes traced the even lines on the documents laying demandingly on his table, along with another high stack of patient files.
There was a recognizable knock on his door, his secretary walked in holding a light blue folder, another comforting colour. She smiled, not so comforting.

“Dr. Cashtener, I need you to sign these papers, please?” She said this with her not so comforting smile held in place.